A great responsibility

M y son is like a tiny mirror reflecting back onto me.

Hes impressionable, affected by my attitude, what I say and how I say it. What I do and how I do it. He makes me acutely aware of my every move and I wonder ‘How will what I say or do impact upon you?’

If I tell you you’re handsome, smart, funny, kind.. will you get hung up on these associations or will they empower you, crafting you into the well rounded person I hope you’ll be?

If my emotions fray will you understand and how will you perceive them?

I imprint my beliefs onto you and all the while I hope you’ll forge your own.

Many months have passed since those first few precious days where once lay a precious wee baby now sits a capable wee boy. I see now why people say cherish every moment because if time were a person it would be a growing child. Changing by the day. Looking more grown and reminding me so with a wit that didn’t exist yesterday and looks that read less baby and more boy. I want to hold still this moment so I can stare at him just a little while longer. I want to keep him little and protected and unaffected by this big, bad, crazy world that he now wants very much to be a part of.

He needs me to teach him things and I need him to teach me things.

He is his own person and I am guiding him through. Loving him, nurturing him and showering him in a million kisses that I never knew I had.

Is this normal? To look at your baby who now laughs at the things you’re laughing at and to all of a sudden feel the weight of a great responsibility to see him right?

While the prospect of that is daunting the thought that I might one day be on the receiving end of a great big bear hug from a happy, kind and likeable young chap who calls me Mum, is a future I happily and gratefully look forward to.


Erena Te Paa sig

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  1. Lorena
    December 1, 2016 / 8:22 pm

    This is so so true Erena. I remember thinking and hoping that my boy grows up fast – faster so I get more sleep etc etc and then they are big and you look at the photos or think of lovely memories you feel guilty that you wished this time went fast and in a way want to relive it once more – I guess that’s when you have another rascals hahahahaha!

  2. December 4, 2016 / 11:23 am

    Oh how right you are..haha I think no matter how old he gets I’ll always be wanting some more newborn snuggles!! I mean, you can never have too many. As for more little rascals…I bet you’re soaking up all of Philomena’s nuzzles!! xxx

  3. Lorena
    December 8, 2016 / 2:54 am

    yes, absolutely – I so do soak up Philamena! It is so different this time around because I know it a years time she will be soooo much bigger. And the sleepless nights will be history. With my first one I had constantly the feeling it will NEVER end and the rest of my life will be like that! Costa is so cute – he will be a very handsome man one day!

  4. December 13, 2016 / 11:46 am

    So sorry, Philamena (spelt her name wrong!) Yes I can just imagine and you are so right, that was how it was with Costa – flying blind and not knowing how long certain ‘phases’ lasted or how truly quickly he grows! So if there is a next time, I will have a clearer picture (well a little bit clearer than mud anyway ;-P ) Thank you, haha hard to imagine him much bigger than he is now, I hope one day isn’t too soon, I like this age!! x

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