I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing two pink lines magically appear on a plastic stick.
While I felt immense joy at first, this time around it was also tinged with a shot of fear.
In recent months while some people were probably playing the guessing game of will Erena try again and when, I spent most of my first trimester happy but fearful.
But while a small part of me was scared, a greater part of me trusts that everything will be okay which is why now in my second trimester and as my tummy grows, so too does my confidence.
I won’t ever forget Penny. How could I? Her memory is woven into the fabric of who I am and so I believe that she’ll always be with me, inspiring me from afar and no doubt inspiring perfect strangers who have been and will continue to be touched by her story. Our story.
As for making space to welcome a new child, well that part is easy. Quite simply, I don’t play favourites which I believe is a sentiment that all parents share.
I will always have space for more love and that to me is what a child is, true love personified.
So to the little love who gently kicks away as I type, a message to you tied up with a promise.
I promise, that you will be unique in your own way and loved for your uniqueness.
The only expectations placed upon you will be to be kind, live well and to try your very best in all things.
I’ll make sure that you’ll always know your sister but you won’t have to live for her. You will be your own person, crafting your own stories and being lifted through life safe in the knowledge that if ever you need it, you will always have our love.
The love of our parents, the love of our families and the love of your sister who I have no doubt is already smiling down from up-high.
Little darling, it feels like years since it’s been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it’s all right, it’s all right.
This post was inspired by my favourite version of this song ‘Here comes the sun’ by an artist called Yuna