Never stop remembering

My darling Penny, I have all these emotions that I don’t know what to do with except write.
You taught me that it was ok to be me and to share what I know and for that I am grateful.
I will always be grateful for you.


W hen the dust settles on the passing of a loved one it is easy for life’s busy-ness to blind us from all the things we said we wouldn’t do. From all the things we said we wouldn’t forget.

To slow down, to give thanks, to be grateful, to stop.

But life is a funny thing. Hard things become easier to live with and trying moments become distant memories floating further away from our consciousness.

This blog is my accountability. In some strange way it connects me to her. Not because I think she haunts me but because hers was the first story I shared with true conviction. So in that sense I try to write things with that same honesty each and every time because I think she deserves it, you deserve it.  

When you have lost everything, you are stripped back to your realness and all those layers and walls you built to hide how you really feel fall away until all you have left is to be the person that you have become. Happy and sad, weathered and wise in all that you’ve lost.

If you were a better person because someone had an impact on you. Never lose that feeling.

You can lose a part of yourself to loss and you can also come back stronger. Wiser.

I would follow Costa to the ends of the earth but he does not replace a memory. She occupies my mind just as she always did and so I think that if you lose someone special you can still remember how to hang onto them in healthy and inspired ways.

To forget the things
that someone taught you
when they left.
Now that,
that would be a real tragedy.


Erena Te Paa sig

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  1. Anna
    March 26, 2017 / 8:50 am

    Beautiful words. Something I keep trying to remember sharing all the stuff that I learnt from my beautiful Mama to my 2 boys who where just 1 & 2 when she passed. Remembering is hard but it is better than forgetting. Then at least we know how much we love them.

  2. Anonymous
    March 26, 2017 / 6:35 pm

    Beautiful Erena❤

  3. March 30, 2017 / 9:06 pm

    Hi Anna, so true. Who else is going to hand-down all those gems that we learn and no doubt your lovely Mama would have had so many. It is hard to remind ourselves on a daily basis but I think holding their memory in our thoughts (or having keepsakes to look back on every so often) can remind us to keep them close and pass those lessons on.

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