What can I say.
Welcoming this little love into our world has been all-consuming, physically and emotionally, not to mention we moved house!
Tonight, I wanted to (finally) steal a minute to share some moments and memories.
Does he know I’m his Mum?
He is still so new, so blind to the world and in a way blind to me being here.
He can barely hold his head up and his eyes hold my gaze as though he’s looking to me and through me, still so new, so curious and so unsure.
I can’t help but kiss his cheeks and his forehead multiple times and talk softly to him willing him to give me that smile that he reserves only for sweet dreams.
I don’t want him to ever grow old and yet I can’t wait for him to know me and I him.
Long legs that could spring away. Wrinkles of skin still waiting to be filled.
When I watch him deep in sleep I feel every feeling as if he invented the reaction.
A sigh, a frown, a smirk, a smile, a fright, a muscle spasm, a tiny fist pump or paw-like grasp. Even the grumpiest most ear-piercing cry feels innately familiar, like it was programmed just to pull at my heart strings.
This precious, vulnerable, breakable being is changing so much every day. With reddy-brown hair and wide blue eyes we’re constantly fascinated and quietly searching for signs of ourselves.
He sleeps so softly at times that it scares me.
I watch his tiny tummy rise and fall and only when it does can I catch my breath and close my eyes.
Ask me which of the wedding anniversaries was the best and I’ll say March 8th 2016 at 3 am, two days after he was born. Both of us sleep deprived and hungry and me watching you cradling our newborn baby and thinking to myself, ‘Yip, this is simply the best’.
An instant cure for tiredness is ironically watching him deep in sleep.
Though some days are incredibly trying (yes, I’ll share those stories too). I still go to bed thanking everyone I can think of for bringing him into my world. Penny, loved ones past and present…the universe.