Life, Motherhood
comments 12

This little love

My son Costa

What can I say.

Welcoming this little love into our world has been all-consuming, physically and emotionally, not to mention we moved house!  

Tonight,  I wanted to (finally) steal a minute to share some moments and memories.

costabear-8

Does he know I’m his Mum?

He is still so new, so blind to the world and in a way blind to me being here.

He can barely hold his head up and his eyes hold my gaze as though he’s looking to me and through me, still so new, so curious and so unsure.

I can’t help but kiss his cheeks and his forehead multiple times and talk softly to him willing him to give me that smile that he reserves only for sweet dreams.

I don’t want him to ever grow old and yet I can’t wait for him to know me and I him.

costabear-5

Long legs that could spring away.  Wrinkles of skin still waiting to be filled.

costabear-2

When I watch him deep in sleep I feel every feeling as if he invented the reaction.

A sigh, a frown, a smirk, a smile, a fright, a muscle spasm, a tiny fist pump or paw-like grasp.  Even the grumpiest most ear-piercing cry feels innately familiar, like it was programmed just to pull at my heart strings.

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This precious, vulnerable, breakable being is changing so much every day. With reddy-brown hair and wide blue eyes we’re constantly fascinated and quietly searching for signs of ourselves.

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He sleeps so softly at times that it scares me.

I watch his tiny tummy rise and fall and only when it does can I catch my breath and close my eyes.

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Ask me which of the wedding anniversaries was the best and I’ll say March 8th 2016 at 3 am, two days after he was born.  Both of us sleep deprived and hungry and me watching you cradling our newborn baby and thinking to myself, ‘Yip, this is simply the best’.

My son Costa

An instant cure for tiredness is ironically watching him deep in sleep.

My son Costa

Thankful.

Though some days are incredibly trying (yes, I’ll share those stories too). I still go to bed thanking everyone I can think of for bringing him into my world. Penny, loved ones past and present…the universe.

Thank you.

 

Erena Te Paa sig

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12 Comments

  1. Lynsey says

    I do like how you encapsulate such emotion in your words as it allows me to reminisce my own son and the almost 21 years that have flown by. The love of a child is so rewarding and exhausting all in one breath and from me to you and your family enjoy your beautiful memories past, present, and of course all those memories yet to come.

  2. Anonymous says

    So beautiful! I know the feeling about watching the chest I still do it and Jordy is 5 months! So many precious moments xx

  3. Anonymous says

    Such beautiful words, I love reading your blogs. Remember to enjoy this special time they grow up far to soon my kids are 7 and 4 and I miss those newborn cuddles they used to give. Congratulations to you both.

  4. Lorena says

    Oh Erena, this is so beautiful! Wonderful pictures of your little guy – he is just amazing! Big hug and congrats to you both!

  5. Oh thank you Lorena, every week he’s changing – it’s hard to keep up! But we are definitely loving getting to know him!!

  6. Ooh that is so lovely to hear and thank you! I’m trying to bottle up all these precious moments, if only to look back on them later and cherish when he is older. I’m glad you were able to read this and reminisce back to when your children were just wee things.

  7. Thank you! Oh honestly, it’s like my heart stops just waiting to watch that little tummy rise and fall. I don’t blame you as I think I’ll still be worrying when he’s further along too (and for the rest of his life!!)

  8. Thank you Lynsey, that means so much that you think so and that you can find your own precious memories in the words. It’s funny, I can’t help looking at him so young and new and wondering who he’ll be at 21 or even 30 but I’ll remember not to dwell on those thoughts and rather I’ll just cherish him in the here and now!

  9. Haha thanks Kiri, I think I just can’t wait for those little hints of a smile to linger at me longer, but that will come I’m sure!

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