A good friend is hard to find

When both my brothers moved to the UK, the older one is back and the younger one has just left.  I never told them this but I would fear that I’d wake up to some horrible story of a tourist being found in a ditch and worry that it might be them.

It can happen.

Or if ever I read that some poor soul’s body wasn’t discovered for several days, I always wonder to myself where were your support people?  Why didn’t someone miss you?

Only, I see pictures of them with their friends who clearly adore and admire them and I realise that if I could teach my future children anything (if I’m lucky enough to have more), it would be how to be a good friend.

How to recognise a good sort when you see one and how you’ll need to earn their friendship by showing up and being there for them.  Just as they will also need to recognise the signs of a toxic friend and let them go as hard as that might be.

I’ll tell them that maybe if they’re lucky, that special friend might introduce them to a whole bunch of like-minded people and through trust and genuine intent, they might earn their friendship too.

I will tell them that friends will come into their lives and they won’t always be there  but the good ones will hang on forever.

Good friendships are kind of like entering into a marriage (purely platonic) but you will bemoan them, fight and make up, change and grow with them by your side.

I am a shy person but one of my dearest friends found me by calling out ‘I love your shoes!’ from across the room.  I thought to myself ‘oh crap is she talking to me?’ and while I thought she was a bit loud and forward at the time, I value that quality because ever since then she’s been the yin to my yang.

Recognise a good friend and hang on to them.

Be someone’s shoulder to cry on so that they can be yours.

Sometimes it won’t feel right and you’ll have to let go but don’t think you can walk this world on your own.

You can’t.

Erena Te Paa Stylist