A great responsibility

M y son is like a tiny mirror reflecting back onto me.

Hes impressionable, affected by my attitude, what I say and how I say it. What I do and how I do it. He makes me acutely aware of my every move and I wonder ‘How will what I say or do impact upon you?’

If I tell you you’re handsome, smart, funny, kind.. will you get hung up on these associations or will they empower you, crafting you into the well rounded person I hope you’ll be?

If my emotions fray will you understand and how will you perceive them?

I imprint my beliefs onto you and all the while I hope you’ll forge your own.

Many months have passed since those first few precious days where once lay a precious wee baby now sits a capable wee boy. I see now why people say cherish every moment because if time were a person it would be a growing child. Changing by the day. Looking more grown and reminding me so with a wit that didn’t exist yesterday and looks that read less baby and more boy. I want to hold still this moment so I can stare at him just a little while longer. I want to keep him little and protected and unaffected by this big, bad, crazy world that he now wants very much to be a part of.

He needs me to teach him things and I need him to teach me things.

He is his own person and I am guiding him through. Loving him, nurturing him and showering him in a million kisses that I never knew I had.

Is this normal? To look at your baby who now laughs at the things you’re laughing at and to all of a sudden feel the weight of a great responsibility to see him right?

While the prospect of that is daunting the thought that I might one day be on the receiving end of a great big bear hug from a happy, kind and likeable young chap who calls me Mum, is a future I happily and gratefully look forward to.

Erena Te Paa sig

#8plusmonths #Costa #motherhood #thoughts